


lux in tenebris

by sorano (zostir)



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: (Riku being there but asleep), But no spoiler except for one line, Gen, Or Sort Of, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Set in part 2, anything is supposed to be platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 16:22:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16790452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zostir/pseuds/sorano
Summary: The night fell, and all Tenn wants to do is to go home and rest. But stumbling upon Iori and an asleep Riku forces him to face a truth he wants to ignore.





	lux in tenebris

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, thank you [Lai](https://aliaaa03.tumblr.com/) for being my wonderful partner for this event! I never expected to find a person as cool as you. I'm so glad we met and I'm so, so grateful for your work!  
> You can find her beautiful drawing [here](https://aliaaa03.tumblr.com/post/180651944683/art-for-the-fic-lux-in-tenebris-by-my-lovely).
> 
> It feels so weird to actually finish a new fic, I haven't managed to do so since march and I'm thankful for this flashbang. I had a lot of fun reading others' participations and I'm in awe with all the artists' talent! It was a wonderful experience!  
> That being said, I apologize for the mistakes that might remain. I haven't read this fic since october because I'm a coward. And I could apologize for a lot of things but nope. I just hope you will enjoy it!

Passing by the dressing room granted to the two members of IDOLiSH is definitely a mistake, Tenn thinks after casting a glance inside the room.

Sure, the door is ajar - meaning people are allowed to come by - yet the idol feels like he's looking at something he wasn't meant to see.

Standing in the frame of the door, he finds himself unable to move - captivated by his brother.

Riku's head lays on his partner, eyes closed, a serene expression on his face. Izumi has turned away from him, gazing at the single window of the room. Some of his dark blue locks mingle with Riku's red one. The night has already fallen and the room is only bathed in the outside light, half-moon, half-street lamp. In this small nook of semidarkness, even though anybody could come and disturb them, the two boys seem to have found their own refuge.

And Tenn, who isn't supposed to catch them in this state of vulnerability, feels his stomach flip.  
Of course, it isn't jealousy, as Izumi Iori won't ever replace him. They both have a special place in Riku's life, and TRIGGER's centre knows, deep down, that they'll always be brothers. Even if one of them claims they're not family anymore. In spite of all the words Tenn utters, of all the denials jostling on the edge of his lips, that he finally lets go of, because he's afraid to reveal too much about his own heart.

It isn't jealousy, and yet the old pain lodging in the depths of his heart jolts awake.

Unwilling to take care of this matter while he's so tired, he moves back a step. However, his foot hits the corner of the door, and the noise alerts Izumi, who looks in his direction. His eyes are defiant, which is not surprising; the last time the two brothers were in the same room (at least, outside of work hours), Izumi's centre had burst into tears, on the verge of a crisis - all of this, because of Tenn. So sure, he can't blame him for being wary of him. Even though he probably shares the high schooler's views on a wide range of topics, in the end, their goals are too different.

He is about to leave when Izumi says: "You can come in, Kujo-san."

So he does, surprised by the younger boy's sudden invitation.

He slowly closes the door behind him and gets nearer of them. Looking for a hint of rejection in Izumi's eyes, and not finding any, he slides down next to his brother.

Riku fell asleep, most likely because of exhaustion. The shooting was back-breaking, and to tell the truth, Tenn himself is on the verge of collapsing. However, he is used to the constant tiredness, so he knows how to deal with it. Riku being sick, this kind of work must take a heavier toll on him. His hunched silhouette looks so frail, so far from his usual energy and dynamism - something breaks inside of Tenn. He wants, for a second, to extend his hand and pull out the few strands of hair that have slipped on his forehead - yet he stops himself. Somehow, he wants to cry, but he can't, not when Izumi is still staring at him.

"I don't understand you, Kujo-san."

Tenn raises his head. "Sorry?" His gaze is cold, unshakable.

He hopes Izumi will take the hint and drop the subject. Unfortunately, the younger boy doesn't.

"You always find a way to hurt Nanase-san. And yet you care about him. I don't understand why you're always so hard on him."

"You're one to talk." Tenn is pretty sure Izumi himself puts a hell of a pressure on Riku.  
"At least I am not trying to break his dream."

"Is this an accusation?" His voice is icy.

Izumi sighs. "A mere observation. Let me get this straight: at first, you refuse to talk to him. Then you manage to find common ground. And when you realize he doesn't meet your expectations, you deny him the right to be an idol again. You keep sending him mixed signals, so it's really confusing."

Well, if he was honest, Tenn would admit that he doesn't get it either. Or rather doesn't _want_ to get it. Because a part of him knows that he's a bit at fault. He is the one who aggravated their relationship, when Riku tried his best to close the gap between the two of them. However, he doesn't allow himself to admit it, as it'd mean he'd deny all of the sacrifices he made. Besides, he still disagrees with Riku; if his brother isn't able to sing until the end of a live performance, isn't it an insult to the fans?

He doesn't owe Izumi an answer, and yet he feels the need to explain himself.

"We have changed, Izumi. Riku and I, we don't know each other so well now."

"Which is why you're uncompromising."

Tenn shrugs - ill at ease.

Izumi bursts into laughter, surprising Tenn who looks at him, bewildered.

"I used to think you were scary, Kujo-san. I thought nothing could affect you. You were always talking about professionalism, you talked like someone who never experienced failure, as you were working so hard." His face darkens, and Tenn guesses he's thinking about Music Festa (and maybe the long lecture Tenn gave them that night at the hotel. How ironic: he's still giving him personal advice).

"But I saw how you looked at him", Izumi whispers, his voice so soft Tenn barely hears it. "You truly love him."

 _Of course, he's my twin brother._ Tenn keeps his mouth shut.

"You know he won't back down, Kujo-san. You'll have to accept his decision, now or later."

"How can you support him when you know how dangerous this is for him?" Tenn asks. _If something happens to him... do you have any idea how much guilt I'd feel? Do you think I can handle this suffering?_

"I'm supporting him because he needs to be protected", Izumi answers, gentle but firm.

Tenn's eyes widen. He never saw things this way.

Izumi then lifts Riku's head, putting it back on Tenn's shoulder. He doesn't reply to the boy's silent question. He only puts his fingers on his lips, ordering him to keep quiet.

"When he wakes up", he says, "try to be more honest. Even if you don't solve anything today, as long as you don't dismiss him, he will feel better. I think he needs it."

Tenn smiles a bit. _As honest as you can be, Izumi._

Sliding his fingers inside his brother's hair, he tries to think of something to tell Riku. Words tumble out in his head but they lack sense. He doesn't think he's ready, he doesn't know how to properly vent his feelings. How do you tell someone that you left them because of your love for them? His reasons pale in comparison to Riku's hurt words.

Silence might be, for now, the only answer he can give him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading ;;;;;;
> 
> if you liked it, feel free to hit me up @[antimondes](http://antimondes.tumblr.com/) or check [lai's art blog](https://aliaaa03-draws.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
